I’m fortunate to see lots of negotiators in action when I work with them on deals, so I can absolutely testify that even the best laid plans are often undone by basic errors at the negotiating table. Here are the most common, and most damaging mistakes, that negotiators make.
Negotiation’s Seven Deadly Sins:
- Ranging: the range you say is the range you give away. Mention a range and your counterpart immediately focuses on the most favourable number and trades from there.
- Rambling: say what you need to say, then shut up. Let them fill the silence. The more you explain and justify, the more you will confuse your proposal and concede your position.
- Thalking: don’t think and talk. Think then talk. When you’re thinking, your eyes unconsciously wander. When you’re talking, they need to be steady, watching your counterpart and looking for reaction. Listen, think, then talk and observe.
- Leaking: control the language you use, and the reactions you display. It’s fine to be outraged if it suits your purpose, but never let your pressures show; they will be used against you.
- Squirreling: the opposite of leaking is giving nothing away. You need to signal where you can move and where you can’t, what’s of value and what’s not. If you can’t clearly and openly articulate your priorities, it’s unlikely you’ll ever get them.
- Weaselling: wilfully misinterpreting your counterpart is the fastest way to build frustration and kill trust. Reframing their statements to aid understanding is one thing. Twisting their words to persuade them you’re right, is another thing entirely.
- Welching: making a threat you can’t carry out, offering a deal you can’t deliver, making a commitment you know you can’t keep. These don’t just damage your current relationship; they echo through the industry and haunt you for years to come.
BOTTOM LINE: It’s a common assumption that negotiators must be ruthless, shrewd, and even devious to a degree. But where relationships last for more than one deal, the best negotiators are those that are precise, concise, thoughtful, controlled, open, honest and trusted.