How to get serious about developing your resilience…
Resilience is a tricky word, to begin with. Let’s take that as a given.
It’s tricky, because on the one hand, it’s increasingly critical that leaders develop it.
On the other hand, it’s an easy word for shifting responsibility: yes, your board might be dysfunctional, your boss a borderline sociopath, we’re chronically understaffed and the systems you have to work with are antique, but “you just need to be a bit more resilient”.
The world is not binary. Both aspects are important.
Plus, there are times, even in the most supportive environments, when “stuff” happens: internal failures, external events, and what may well be looked back upon as the perma-crisis of the 2020s.
In that context, it’s not victim-blaming to talk about how we and our people can, and perhaps must, become more personally resilient. In fact, I’d say it’s a dereliction not to.
So, here’s a simple framework, one I’ve developed over the years and used with all kinds of people I’ve coached through crises, from those new into role, to CEO veterans of 30 years or more.
They have all found it useful. I call it the “four Es” because, after many hours spent with a thesaurus (old school) I’ve contrived to give them descriptions that all start with E.
This is the level of commitment you’re paying for, by the way.
The first “E” is Engage.
Talk about the issue. Use your network, your colleagues, your coach, to help you work through the situation. This is about creating regular space for yourself, to consciously process the stuff you need to work through.
The second is Escape.
This is where you do something that requires a little focus but allows your unconscious mind to work. It might be gardening or running, knitting or painting. There’s a reason you have your best ideas while in the shower or walking the dog. Sleep works in the same way, which it’s why it’s so important for managing stress. This is about creating space for unconscious processing.
The third is Energise.
This is where you do things that absorb your full attention and give you fresh energy. For some people it might be visiting front-line services or spending time generating ideas with partners. For others it might be a weekend spent skydiving or rock climbing, meditating or learning to Tango. This is about distracting yourself from the issue so completely that you come back refreshed and with a fresh perspective.
And finally, the fourth is Embed.
This is where you look at those other three modes for managing stress, think about which activities are the most effective under each heading, and then work out how you can consistently embed them into your monthly, weekly, and daily routine.
Most people, at some point in their leadership journey, will find or stumble upon some things that seem to work. You’ve probably noted a couple of things you do across those three modes already.
But few people actually recognise that, to develop resilience at work, it pays to develop a deep understanding of what works for you in each of these modes, in what way, and why.
And more than that, to appreciate how important these things are to your ability to manage pressure at work. They are not nice-to-have extra-curricular activities; they are survival strategies for sustainable leadership.
They are the foundation stones for developing your resilience.
It’s extraordinary how many people, whether exhausted, in crisis, or on the edge of burnout, have listened to me go through this list and realised how much of this stuff they’ve let slide, or sacrificed under the pressures of work.
And it’s extraordinary how much difference it makes when they force themselves to put them back into their schedule and protect them.
I’ve worked with leaders who have gone through incredibly stressful periods.
And I’ve seen more than a few of them, when moving organisation, immediately poach their EA from their previous job (especially in the commercial world) because they’ve learned it’s critical to have someone who will protect these spaces in their diary.
Of course, there’s a big organisational element to pressure and stress, and this isn’t about letting bad employers off the hook.
But nor is it about exempting you, as an individual, from working at developing your resilience.
Because the more you can learn your own best ways to engage, escape, and energise, and the more deeply you can embed them in your routine, the more equipped you will be to manage those pressures and stresses, however they arise.